Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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