my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
