Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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