I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
When did angry sex become our thing?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
