so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
