and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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