flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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