is your mom at the bar?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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