id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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