If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
