go do what you do best...puke behind churches
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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