Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
