I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So apparently I’m into choking now
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
