I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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