You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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