I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
