My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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