Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
How external is "for external use only"?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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