Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
