Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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