i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
