i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
