God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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