oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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