Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
