Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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