i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
