dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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