i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
