You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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