Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
