Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
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