we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize