at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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