So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
