I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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