did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
