It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Randomize
