I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
