why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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