Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
