found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
