I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
its liver damage thursday
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