My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
