So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
