and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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