just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
