mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
