There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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