she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
