So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
