i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
honey bunches of taint.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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