Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
