Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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