You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
