Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
