So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
