I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize