okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
