are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
