omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
