i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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