booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
please don't ironically join a cult
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