i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
