she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
