I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
