ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
