when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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