i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
