woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
