note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
