i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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