I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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