I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
