Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Pooping to opera.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
