We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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