Cold hands, warm shart.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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