I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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