yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm always down for nudity.
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