I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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