It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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